The life is not always easy and smooth as we wish. We often encounter difficulties, we must try our best to solve that but sometime we feel tired and stressful. what will you do? We have a lot of ways such as listen to music, share with our friends, or just do nothing and stay in our room. and I, whenever I have troubles or feel uncomfortable, I go to my garden - the wonderful place - making me feel better and stronger.
paragraph 1:
the sight of the garden: it's really miraculous. it is not large. it has a lot of flowers and a big tree which my grand father planted
+ in the morning: a peaceful garden
- the cock crow, the sun rises, and wakes up suddenly every thing in the garden after a long sleep: the flowers which still stagnate dews, and the tree, the grass wet in dew too...
- you can breathe the fresh air and feel very comfortable
- the sounds : twit birds, the sound of broom from my mom...
- a new day begins - a nice day.
+ in the noon: a bright garden
- the brilliant sunshine
- the color: with colorful flowers: red roses, yellow gerbaras, white carnatines, the green tree, grass...
- relax: sit under the big tree, the cool winds makes comfortable and easy to fall asleep
+ at night: splendid garden
- do nothing, sit and look the twinkle stars stand out on the dark sky
- some pleasant breezes
- the sweet smell of flowers
- some interesting sounds of insect
paragraph 2: the garden is like a member of my family- every member in my family loves it. we take care of it carefully: my mom cleans it every morning, my dad and my brother water and plan flowers, put down fertilizer...
- and I have a special feelings for it. whenever I am sad or unpleasant, the garden is like my closed friend. I can share every thing and it will keep my secrets forever.
In short, why do not you find a place where belongs to you? and according to me, my garden is the best place. because I can contemplate its beauty, relax, and it makes me better when I have troubles. I hope you'll have a best place as you expect as soon as.
THE SHORT ESSAY:
THE WONDERFUL PLACE !!!
The life is not always easy and smooth as we wish. We often encounter difficulties, we must try our best to solve that but sometime we feel tired and stressful. what will you do? We have a lot of ways such as listen to music, share with our friends, or just do nothing and stay in our room. and I, whenever I have troubles or feel uncomfortable, I go to my garden - the wonderful place - making me feel better and stronger.
When you come to my garden you will be interested. My garden is a small land in front of my house which has a lot of colorful flowers, a big tree in the middle. My garden is wonderful at all time. First, in the morning, when the cock crews, the sun rises, the garden is waken up after a long sleep. at that time, the flowers which still stagnate dews, and the tree, the grass are wet in dew too...Moreover the air in the morning is really fresh and pour. It is very good for our health and you can get energy for a new day. And I, I often go the there, breathe deeply and walk around. I feel very comfortable. Second, in the noon , my garden is a good place to relax. the sun shines brilliant light in to every where in the garden, the garden seems bright because of the colorful flowers: red roses, yellow gerbaras, white carnatines, the green tree, grass...That is just the sight, and you, if you go to there at noon, you can sit under the big tree with the huge shadow, sometimes there has some cool breezes, you can fall asleep easily. It is a way to relax. Finally, at night, my garden becomes splendid. After a long day you word or study hard, your mind feel heavy and stressful. my garden is the best place for you. You do nothing, you just chose a suitable seat to sit down, and look at the sky. That is all. when you look at the sky, you will be surprised because the twinkle stars stand out on the dark sky, the funny sounds from the insects, from the low winds, etc. It is like in the unreal but it is the fact. It is very difficult to find that in our busy life which we live now.
Besides that, my garden is like a member of my family. all of member in my family love it, pay attention to it a lot. we take care of it carefully: my mom cleans it every morning, my dad and my brother water and plan flowers, put down fertilizer...And I when I am happy or sad or when I have troubles, feel disappointed, even my secrets which I don't say with any one, I share with it. It is the best friend who keeps silent all my secrets forever.
In short, why do not you find a place where belongs to you? and according to me, my garden is the best place. because I can contemplate its beauty, relax, and it makes me better when I have troubles. I hope you'll have a best place as you expect as soon as.
Besides that, my garden is like a member of my family. all of member in my family love it, pay attention to it a lot. we take care of it carefully: my mom cleans it every morning, my dad and my brother water and plan flowers, put down fertilizer...And I when I am happy or sad or when I have troubles, feel disappointed, even my secrets which I don't say with any one, I share with it. It is the best friend who keeps silent all my secrets forever.
In short, why do not you find a place where belongs to you? and according to me, my garden is the best place. because I can contemplate its beauty, relax, and it makes me better when I have troubles. I hope you'll have a best place as you expect as soon as.
ideas: A.
Trả lờiXóaIntroductory paragraph: A
Thesis statement: B.
the phrase:"making me feel better and stronger" is fit with " the garden is like a member of my family" ?it's not clear.
and i think you shuold just use one word "we" or "you" because when you use two words in the writing it can make reader confuse
Development: A
conclusion: A
INTRODUCTION (2ms)
Trả lờiXóa- Background, hook 1
- Thesis statement 1
BODY (4.5ms)
- Good ideas 2
- Coherence, unity, development 1.5
- Language: Grammar, vocabulary (1)
CONCLUSION (2ms)
- Summarize (1)
- Lesson, suggestions (1
Total: 8.5